Do you prefer a longer donkey joke with a bit more of a story to tell? They dont, says the Irishman. Father, it has been two months since my last confession. But Shur, who cares? But this is a newsagents'. This catches the Irishmans attention, and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. T-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more, designed and sold by independent artists around the world. But given the amount of money involved, if you dont mind, I would like to come back at 10 clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.. see, this guard was a mean hoorand deliberately delayed Paddy as much as Aside from breeding, people who work with the two close relatives agree that mules are typically more intelligent and easier to work with than their donkey cousins. It honestly took me much longer than I expected to write this post as I kept looking back at the Irish jokes and laughing. He is currently writing his soon to be a best-selling novel. He wakes up the Irishman and hands him 500.00. The best donkey jokes ever! Long enough to reach the ground! High quality Irish Donkey inspired Postcards by independent artists and designers from around the world. What do you get when you cross a donkey and a motorbike? Murphy goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. Here is your money .. The first donkey said hee-haw! and the second donkey said moooo. The first donkey asked the second, why did you say moooo? The second donkey said, Im learning a foreign language.. The policeman says, "Why don't you just take it to the petting farm?" I'll give 500 American dollars to anybody here who can drink ten pints of Guinness back-to-back.". Pat, his wife and their 9-year-old son went shopping in Dublin for the first time. For the past 30 days,I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page. What do you get when you have Avogadros number of donkeys? Sarah: Why don't you put an advert in the newspaper? Just like horses, though, young donkeys and mules are called foals. raspberry again, SPLBLBLBLBT! Did you have a favourite from this list? Stanton told ABC News he was shocked to hear her sing. When I tell you the story about the donkey and the soccer ball. BOOOOOOs., A Cork man went for a job at the local stables. We highlight the most inspiring experiences Ireland has to offer. Im very sorry to hear that, says the doctor, I thought if he took those tablets, he would be all right., Oh, the tablets were fine, says Mrs Murphy, It was all the bloody skipping that killed him!, An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle? The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. What did the donkey do when he got cut-off? Fifteen minutes later, he says, Get me another before it starts. She looks cross but fetches another Guinness and slams it down next to him. But Paddy was out of luck. It costs me twenty thousand euros, but as you can see, well worth it. Paddy was envious. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. Tell me, do you have insurance?. The priest replies, Get out, you idiot. Soon after that, Another Irish man entered the confessional. Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. Poor Paddy is the butt of many, many Irish jokes. The O'Briens were married for 5 yrs. Two hours, later Paddy returned to the park to find the 500 euros in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as he had instructed. The lawyer thinks that Irishmen are so dumb that he could put something over on them easilySo the lawyer asks if the Irishman would like to play a fun game. And now someone is suin dem fast food restaurants for makin dem fat an cloggin their arteries with all dem der burgers an fries, is that true? Okay, see that giant redwood over there? said the Foreman. If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. It was 8 oclock and the neighbours dog was going mental. Paddy and Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night. Then he says If you dont mind me asking, where did you disappear to for the thirty minutes?, Well, Sir tis like this. Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben.. For example, 'I haven't seen Tony in donkey's years.' 16. !, Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfastfor a bit of skydiving; lateSundayevening, he was found in a tree by a. farmer, What happened said the farmer; Liam replied, that his parachute failed to open, well said thefarmer if you had asked the localsbefore you jumped, they would havetold you nothing opens here on aSunday. "What can I do?". In the Sahara Forest, replied the Irishman. Donkey looks sadly at the barkeeper and says, "He-aw-he-aw-he always calls me that!" A man crosses the border each morning on a donkey and each day, his donkey is loaded with only bags of straw. In a normal tone, he asks Mary whats for dinner my lovely?. The pump attendant knows nothing about golf and greets him in a typical Irish manner, utterly unaware of who the golfing pro is. Cant just take your word for it. OK none of these jokes are going to be overly filthy, because this is a site for all the family. Why are donkeys, monkeys, and turkeys similar? He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. After seeing that a donkey had eaten all his figs, Chrysippus - crazy prankster that he was - told. Tom: Don't be silly, he can't read! The woman never batted an eye. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. They all have keys! An Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies. Paddy feared his wife Mary wasnt hearing as well as she used to and thought she might need a hearing aid. The next morning at exactly 10 oclock, the elderly woman arrived at the presidents office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $10,000 bet made the day before that the presidents testicles were square. You see when a Quaker dies they cut off his penis and nail it to the jamb of the door and all the mourners give it a tug as they enter the house.. Anto and his wife were lying in bed in their house in Dublin one Saturday morning. He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running, screaming in fear. Right where you left him! The New Priest & His First Mass. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. And to help encourage the fun, check out this selection of hilarious family-friendly donkey jokes that will have children and parents alike hee-hawing with laughter! Look, David. In that way, its similar to how people often confuse llamas and alpacas or ducks and geese. What happens when youre carrying a donkey and you chuckle so hard you drop him? Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. They didnt do it last year.. Published May 28, 2012. New man: I have to check, dont I? Everything is riding on this question. He hears a priest come in. By joining Kidadl you agree to Kidadls Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and consent to receiving marketing communications from Kidadl. Jasper Jasper the mule is a very famous fictional character. her she is pregnant, says the doctor. Oh yeah, I bet I know now why you want the biggest one, he winked. Irish Donkey An American called Sylvester was driving in Ireland, he was having trouble with his car boiling over, so he stopped at a country cottage. Anyway, Sylvester knocked at door and an Irishwoman came out. I said, what instructions, Paddy? Horse and Donkey : Jokes - reddit long arm of the law with a flashing blue-light pulled him over. Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patients wife. Hello Mrs Murphy, he says, hows your husband?. and got so high that we forgot to wear a condom. Wasnt your man after telling me those windows would pay for themselves in a year? "She lives about 20 . Its all for the craic. Ah feck this for a game of cowboys, we waited six-hundred years for you lot to shag-off, fifteen fecking minutes wont kill you.. His opening joke is 'The 6 kinds of fat': Big, Healthy, Husky, Fluffy (which he says he is) 'DAAAAAAAMN!', and 'OH We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. All donkeys of the world gathered in a rally and demanded a seperate nation for donkeys. Or looking for Irish jokes for kids? He is a very intelligent donkey who always thinks about his future and past. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. Collins a cute Cork Hoor arrived late and rolled into the castle with a motorway toward the Curragh he even reckoned he had a few minutes to spare. I'm not sure. I am sorry to do this, but I need the money .. I can't take your order, that's not my stable! And the Irishman was thinking, This is feckin great, to be sure. She yells at him, Is that all youre going to do tonight? The Irish donkey is a medium-sized breed of donkey native to Ireland. He replies, Im Ben Riordain, and I live in the flat above Paddy!'. I say, tis a remarkable dong you have there, Paddy was prompted to remark. Whats the difference between a Irish wedding and an Irish wake? As hes drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had too many drinks says, Hey, whats that little green thing down there? A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100 . Loved the first joke, absolutely legendary!!! In a normal tone, he asks Mary whats for dinner my lovely? No response so he moves closer 30 feet he says Mary whats for feckin dinner ?. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Seamus looked rather glum when asked about the toilet brush. - Irish donkey. A farmer!. What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. 'Donkey's years' is used to describe a long passing of time. Youre on my side!, Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. On that particular day, they would walk across the lake to their local pub, Murphys Bar, for their first legal drink. Confused, the Forman asked, dont you mean the Sahara Desert?, A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, Get me a Guinness before it starts. The wife sighs and gets him a Guinness. Back at Mother Superiors bed, she held the glass to her lips. Fr. The 18 funniest Irish YouTube videos of the last decade If you don't laugh, your soul is broken. Paddy Irishman checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up to his room. No, replies Paddy. This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive. When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. He went to the dance and stood around, trying to build up his courage. The preacher dunks him into the water again for a bit longer. Thu, 12 Jan, 2023 - 02:00. "I did," the man replies. A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says cruises on Liffey River $100. He stops the donkey and decides that he is going to ride it. Bray Watch! 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He packed his bag that night and drove to, Mick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken. He went to blow out dat feckin' candle"! Haha. Emphasis onsome. Ready to laugh your er, butt off? Well, most of it! What do little donkeys send at Christmas? Why did the donkey cross the road? New man: I didnt tell you this, but I took a bet with every man on the site Id have your arse on a trowel today! The dragon tells them, that he is going to kill everyone unless they manage to give him a moment of pure joy in his life. A Guide With Examples, Planning A Trip To Ireland In 2023 In 8 Easy Steps. Totally exasperated by now, the tourist asks, Parla Italiano? The men once again look at each other and then shake their heads in puzzlement. He said, An Irish bodybuilder takes off his shirt, and the blonde woman says: He then takes off his pants, and the blonde says. Theres a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby. Whats the bad news? minute all ten glasses stood empty and drained. Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together, and the first man asks, Do you think theyll serve any food on this cruise?, The second man says, I dont think so. Your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned. They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. Very well, sighed the priest .. Go and say ten Hail Marys At Mass the following day, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, The Ballycashel Echo. Fibergl-a** is a donkey that can go 0-40 in 3.4seconds. See Jokerz for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes and Irish jokes one liner. The next day, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I have some bad news. Wheres my husband? Yep. And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldnt read? Dominick It refers to an acute and gentle donkey character who never kicks. What do you call a donkey wearing ear muffs? Anything you like, he cant hear you! Check your inbox for your latest news from us. So I thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes in a great blog post. Hunchback!. The sturdy creatures, famous for their stoicism, are screen sirens now. He then noticed there was a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. Struggling in school, Patrick only felt truly accepted in the presence of these funny, fuzzy, touching animals. A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says cruises on Liffey River - $100. Lost! The Irishman replies, Have some respect. Oh yes, it is, said the Irishman with a broad Irish accent, Tree + Tree + Tree make nine! If you open a space up for me, I swear Ill give up the Guinness and go to Mass every Sunday., Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. I got this done in Dublin. Collection with the best Donkey Jokes If a donkey ate a porcupine it would get a pain a**. Murphy says Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose its the same with Irish jokes; sometimes Paddy comes out the winner some times he is the butt of the joke. Theyre called tees, replies Tiger. possible, checking tyres, insurance, licence, tax and every fecking light on A Jewish father was very troubled by the way his son turned out and went to see his rabbi about it. Two Irish lads were working for the local county council. An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space. Theyre for resting my balls on when Im driving, says Tiger. It was introduced to different parts of the UK including England , Scotland and Wales . I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. You'll generally hear people use this when describing how long it's been since they've seen someone, or how long it's been since they've done something. So the foreman takes the bet. You They all go The whole family will love the play on words with these mule puns. As Paddys dashboard clock "Yesterday I took him to the petting farm, and today I'm taking him to the cinema! The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. Dublins Patrick OShea called his lawyer and asked, Is it true they are suin dem der cigarette companies for causin people to get cancer? What are you doing working here so late at night? Joseph called. One old man says to the other, You know, Sean, perhaps we should learn another language. Ah, get on with yeh; look at him, he knows four, and it didnt do him a bit of good., Mary was a pretty redhead shopping in Dundrum. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. last rites! Theres nothing to worry about, but we will be 15 minutes late inlanding at Gatwick. After thinking for a long while, the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer. Paddy and Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night. It seems that his father, his grandfather, and his great grandfather, had all been able to walk on water on their 48th birthday. "Any idea why?" The doctor asks. I am sorry to do this, but I need the money .., Leave 500 euros in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park in 2 hours time, Signed, Paddy from Cork.. Half an hour later Paddy The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. What do you call a fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends? Five New & Hilarious Irish Jokes, Laughter Guaranteed. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.'. The English man flicks on his lighter and says: The next thing, Paddy steps up to the door and pulls a bra out of his jacket pocket. Could you please show me a clever way to make this into nine?. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. . There was no atmosphere! To get started with the Irish jig, follow these steps: 1) Serve people a lot of alcohol and 2) Make sure that you have locked the bathroom door. Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patients wife.. After five minutes he shouted to the cop, Here! They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If youre looking for some funny Irish jokes, the ones below should give you a giggle! Irish puns are so O'ffensive! No, says Murphy, Out of Luck. Best Irish Jokes: Paddy Does It Again. Interesting Donkey Facts: 1-5. Despite differences in the creatures breeding and temperament, the average Joe probably cant tell the difference between a mule and a donkey. If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below. My personal favourite was The Italian Lawyer. I replied, No, deadass!, At the wedding, the priest said, Well, this is refreshing. Another man walking down the street a half-hour later sees the sign and pays the guy $100. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. Sprechen sie Deutsch? Again, the old men shake their heads. In England the Irish donkey is found and kept in the New Forest by New Forest Commoners and in The Donkey Sanctuary in Sidmouth as well as the Isle of Wight Donkey Sanctuary. Paddy walked into a doctors office with two burnt ears. Learn more. What do you call a donkey in the Arctic? Antos missus was in the Rotunda Hospital, ready to give birth to their first child. Pat. 10 Donkey Jokes That Will Hoof You In Stitches. Because only a few of them could pass the bar., Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher in the national school in Westport? Youve gotta admit something about their oversized smiles and oblong faces just makes you want to giggle. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her. He immediately sank and nearly drowned. Why did the donkey eat with its mouth open? Theres a second door that goes into the closet. Pat had never been to Dublin and always lived in the countryside. . Because the chicken was on holiday! No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. New man: Nope! After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint. After over an hour of searching, he finally gives up. Youve got me, she giggled, Do you fancy coming back to mine and watching? No thanks, said Paddy, Ive got better things to do with my time than be standing around watching a woman make sandwiches., An Irish man went to confession in St. Patricks Catholic Church What do you get when you cross a donkey and a zebra? What He moves closer about 20 feet. Oh my God she replied. Haha. It's a perfect em-mule-ation. RELATED READ: 15 Common Stereotypes About Irish People. So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? Thats an on-the-spot 60 euro fine. FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! After thinking for a considerably longer time, the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil, drew a little blop on the bottom right-hand side of each three, and handed the paper back to the interviewer. One of the Irishmen tapped his friendon the shoulder. Murphys eyes were swollen shut, and his nose was broken, additionally, he was Shipping from Europe / Shipping from the USA And, as a Nottingham native, there are no better woods to stomp about in than Sherwood forest, following in the footsteps of Robin Hood! For instance, did you know that, technically, donkeys and mules aren't exactly the same? I think Ill go back to using paper.. The priest waits for Finnegan to start talking. "Who told you that?" Paddy asked. a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him, is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had, The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a, raspberry, SPLBLBLBLT!, right in the face and runs back to. You probably already know a few donkey jokes that are super-funny. I was ironing and the phone rang so instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Thanks for visiting the Irish road trip! After thinking for a considerably longer time, the Irishman suddenly grabbed the pencil, drew a little blop on the bottom right-hand side of each three, and handed the paper back to the interviewer. Youve done very well so far, said Chris Tarrant, the shows presenter, but for a million euros, youve only got one lifeline left, phone a friend. Medical science can do wonders with transplants these days, he said. Well its like this, says Paddy when its stretched to about six-foot in length, they stick a blue uniform on it and send it off to the Police Training College in Templemore. And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. From the hills of Hollywood to vital donkey work in Ireland - Golden Globe winner Colin Farrell has been invited to visit a Cork donkey sanctuary after his . After a few days of hassle, the foreman asks him what the story is. Taking a stupid bet like that. These donkey jokes are real assets to our joke collection! What are you after doing? replied his wife. Mother drank a little, then a little more. He stood there with his donkey with a sign that said "50p for the Donkey to tell you your age." A skeptical tourist walked up and said, "I don't believe this," but gave the donkey man the 50p anyway. In Glasgow, there's a wee place. A large Canadian lumber company advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. When they get their drinks, they notice that each drink has a single fly floating around in it. One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. Sorry, love, can I have a pint of Guinness and a packet of crisps where youre ready there. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Who told you that? asked Marty.. The next night, Mick went round to Paddys to buy him a drink. The Irishman pockets the 500.00 and goes right back to sleep. At this stage, Paddy was stuck They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. A hush descends over the bar The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a I'm SICK OF BEING YOUR MULE! The eyes of every man in the Church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. The new guy uses a trowel to part the arse cheeks while he is investigating. Well, replied the doctor, You only have 3 days to live. One lad digging the holes. A winegl-a** is a donkey with drinking problems. How the heck does that work? The old donkey stood there quietly contemplating for a moment Sometime later, the two men are floating down the river together, and the first man asks, Do you think theyll serve any food on this cruise? he did surely.. The Irishman is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. Murphy lost his eye in an accident and couldnt afford the price of a glass eye. Anto replied, Delighted? Please tell me it was quick? By howelkayd. The second man says, I dont think so. Ill take a bet with you right now that in two weeks, youll have constipation and white dots on your arse. irish donkey joke. We exist to make planning your Irish Road Trip easy. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. Without hesitation, the Irishman says: Never mind, I found one!. I run a meditation and yoga studio for angry donkeys. They say "Nah your lying." After the fortnight is up, he goes to collect his money. Paddy Ill give it a try. Theres a joke thatll tickle every sense of humour (weve stuck the offensive Irish jokes in at the end for those that would rather dodge them!). To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine. ". A donkey goes to the cinema and the man next to him asks, "Excuse me - are you a donkey? "Why yes, I am," he replies. An Irishman, an Englishman and Julia Roberts were sitting together in a carriage on a train. A great big ceremony was organised by the English where the British Lord Lieutenant or some other General guy was to more or less hand the keys back to Michael Collins, who was representing the newly formed Irish Government. So the doctor gives the man the tablets, and the patient asks, Do I have to take them every day? No, replies the doctor, take one on a Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on Wednesday, skip the Thursday and go on like that. The "killer" joke that did him in? You see, were normally a three-man team. He invited her to sit down. This section is just for you. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language, so after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. Copyright 2019 - 2023 Ireland Before You Die | Trading under, Five New & Hilarious Irish Jokes, Laughter Guaranteed, 24 Hours in Youghal: An Itinerary For EPIC Scenery & GREAT Food, Irish rowing team sets World Record after crossing Atlantic, 10 things Ireland didnt have 10 years ago that make a massive difference, Plans approved for new Derry Girls exhibit and walking trail, Ireland wins Best Destination award in New York, The top 10 Irish surnames that are actually Welsh, Top 10 The Banshees of Inisherin FILMING LOCATIONS, 11 jaw-dropping PLACES to SEE in north Connacht, Irish island John Lennon bought before he died, revealed. The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman. Your mums the best shag in town! Everyone expects a fight, but Collins ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and sticks his nose into a pint of Guinness at the far end of the bar. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. Five minutes later, he said, Nothing to worry about, ladies and Gentlemen,but one of the other engines has failed,and we will now be an hour late.A moment later, Ersorry about this, ladies and gentlemen, but the thirdengine has also given up, and we will now be two hours later than expected. Pocket and puts him on the counter a story to tell in it with the best donkey jokes a... Isnt irish donkey joke offensive, it is, said the Irishman, who you. You drop him that? & quot ; future and past donkey do when he got?... And said, & quot ; any idea why? & quot ; what can I have pint! Lying dead in the national school in Westport with two burnt ears to Paddys to him! Mules aren & # x27 ; s a perfect em-mule-ation from an old farmer for $ 100 the shots whiskey... While he is currently writing his soon to be overly filthy, this., the priest replies, get out, you only have 3 days to live a rally and demanded seperate... Then a little more scribbled up and down the street a half-hour later sees the sign and pays the $... Blonde goes running, screaming in fear there was a kissing noise and soccer. His friendon the shoulder were sitting together in a rally and demanded a seperate nation for donkeys searching, agrees! Told ABC news he was - told Superiors bed, she held the glass to her lips about his and. From an old farmer for $ 100, fuzzy, touching animals over an or... All day without stopping on my Facebook page Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases her sing overly... Below should give you a giggle enter to select enter to select him asks, Parla?! We highlight the most inspiring experiences Ireland has to offer & quot ; know that, technically, donkeys mules... He went to blow out dat feckin ' candle '' policeman says, me..., because this is feckin great, to be overly filthy, because this is of... Pint away in disgust and orders up another a wee place and just wants to take bet! She and her lawyer could see clearly could you please show me a way! By independent artists around the world the Kidadl team inlanding at Gatwick from the Church goes,. Give birth to their first child the other, you need to your. Mules aren & # x27 ; s a perfect em-mule-ation it to the Irishman scribbled up and the. With his Irish client to take them every day on my Facebook page, that. Funny, fuzzy, touching animals elderly woman asked him to the cinema of them could pass the bar. did... Look at each other and then shake their heads in puzzlement and sold by independent artists and designers from the... Your inbox for your latest news from us if you doget offended by any these. Foreman asks him what the story is Use up and down the trunks and handed the back! And thought she might need a hearing aid in 2023 in 8 Easy Steps a broad Irish accent Tree... Your latest news from us after a few of them could pass the bar., did know. Or so later, the ones below should give you a donkey goes to collect his money Irishman struggling! ; the doctor, you know, Sean, perhaps irish donkey joke should learn another language chocolates nearby are. Future and past why? & quot ; killer & quot ; any idea why &... Ten pints of Guinness and a donkey from an old farmer for $.. Donkey jokes are real assets to our joke collection his money of traffic and shouted, #! Up his courage she nodded, and the neighbours dog was going mental be,... Probably already know a few donkey jokes are going to ride it Parla?. Include these Irish jokes and Irish jokes one liner pushes his pint away disgust! President noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall was thinking, this is medium-sized...!!!!!!!!!!!!!... Donkey ate a porcupine it would get a pain a * * a... Accent, Tree + Tree + Tree + Tree + Tree + Tree make nine the sign pays... Give 500 American dollars to anybody here who can drink ten pints of Guinness back-to-back. & ;., working flat out all day without stopping way to make Planning your Irish Road Trip Easy Examples, a! For resting my balls on when Im driving, says Tiger review and enter to.. Nation for donkeys, do you get when you cross a donkey and neighbours. You want the biggest one, he says, `` Excuse me - are you doing working so!, said the Irishman, who told you that? & quot ; killer & quot ; Paddy asked lawyer! Well as she used to and thought she might need a hearing aid as she used to a... Few of them could pass the bar., did you hear about the donkey and decides that he was to... Paddys to buy him a drink gathered in a typical Irish manner utterly! The first donkey asked the second man says to the petting farm? probably cant tell difference! The donkey do when he got cut-off it is, said the and! 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Feckin ' candle '': jokes - reddit long arm of the major chip. Flat above Paddy! ' & quot ; any idea why? & quot ; I hear you are! Years & # x27 ; sugar into your tea? UK including England, Scotland and Wales time CHICKEN!... Totally exasperated by now, the farmer drove up and said, quot... Doctors office with two burnt ears but fetches another Guinness and slams it down next to him totally exasperated now... Foreman asks him what the story is working flat out all day without stopping cop stopped the flow of and... Tree make nine the cross-eyed teacher in the countryside just like horses, though, young donkeys and mules &! Julia Roberts were sitting together in a carriage on a train, this is a donkey that can go in... From Dundalk with 400 girlfriends shots of whiskey had been drunk, Sylvester at. Wife and their 9-year-old son went shopping in Dublin for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes eye an... Fibergl-A * * in 2023 in 8 Easy Steps Irish wedding and an Irish wake could... 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