So for your own sake; do not go near him, contact him, or even think about going back to the relationship. I would suggest you be afraid he'll come back. Austa is easy to talk to and she is a great listener. Not "we need time apart" no, screw that. What if she hits him, not with her fists, but with a bat or something out of anger? When she next met Jimmy she was very kind to him. It will explain better than I can why abusive behavior is a controlled and deliberate behavior, not something you can explain away by saying you're crazy and struggling to control your anger. It wouldn't be getting the same responses at all. This makes your ex want you back more then ever. I don't even get angry when I drink- and I don't get drunk often. You domestically abused your boyfriend. I broke up with my boyfriend and I feel awful - I feel guilty for breaking up with him. I regretted it the second I did it. And again, and the worst of it is you don't always get another chance to walk away when you should have. Your relationship should grow from such an experience. My boyfriend kissed me goodbye (he said he was leaving early because he had work the next day, which was true.) So if you want to win your ex boyfriend back you really need to get yourself together emotionally first. I stood there in shock whilst he was shouting "OH YOU TALK ABOUT EQUALITY SO YOU DESERVE IT" I shouted back saying "I don't care" and started to walk off crying whilst he was still shouting behind me. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone. Think about it. I'm 24, he's 28. Started Thursday at 10:00 PM, By That's what I was wonderingif the OP came from a homelife that was abusive. Anonymous (30-35) This past week my boyfriend has really made me upset and he hurt my feelings deeply. Accept the relationship is over. Even though I now have a small sense of understanding why things happened this way, it does not mean it's an excuse and I recognize this. Since stress seems to bring out some violence from you I don't think it's a good idea to try to get the relationship going again while things are so stressful. What happens if she gets drunk and something similar happens again? And feel the feelings of being bad. He ended up crying saying he felt bad about what he did in the car, I asked him to leave, he did. It can kill someone. Honestly, what is my problem. At the very least push her away from you and only strike back if you really felt your life/safety was at stake. I wish I could reach out to you. When you back away from your ex your ex boyfriend will see the strong and independent women in you that he first feel in love with. She suggested that Jimmy come with her as his friend. Has anyone reading this on ENA been to anger mgmt or have any tips on how I can stop from resorting to violence? And I should. Like so many other times in relationships, this is an opportunity. I ruined something great by losing control. I am very ashamed and can't believe I have done this to someone I love, and have done it more than once. Make your boyfriend feel loved with these love words for him. I would have done the same. Then all of a sudden, he shouted something in a very exasperated tone (I don't remember what he said) and violently turned in my direction. I've never slapped back. She said that when I found out my BF had been texting some other girl it was kind of like a flash back and that's why I lost control of my emotions. Immediately following it, he was incredibly forthcoming, volunteered information, and generally made it clear how honest and dedicated he was to the relationship. When that much emotion builds up, sometimes it's hard for people to know what to do with it in a healthy way. But I think that staying together is the wrong course, and that you need a break. If he would have kicked you out where would you have gone? I don't know what's wrong with me and don't know why I do this. Anger management and therapy can help. When he comes back the next day, do the two of you then talk about and resolve the problem you were fighting about the night before? In the period when you come back together, reinstating trust becomes the most important component. Without confirming the story or even talking to Jimmy about it, Susan confronted Jimmy and said she knew he had been sleeping with another woman.. Poor Jimmy was completely taken aback. When we are clear-headed, violence seems like the furthest thing from our minds, an impossibility that we will never turn to. good for him. No more ignoring, no more games; from this point on your life will never be the same. He's completely in the wrong. None, zip, zero. I hate to do this to you, but there are a few more questions I need to ask. Also, he might be afraid of what he might do if you hit him again. It's a classic move. I'm torn between the belief of "once an abuser, always an abuser," and my sincere belief that I would rather walk across broken glass barefoot than ever do anything like this again. He broke up with me and wants nothing to do with me anymore. He slapped me back and I slapped him again then all of a sudden he slapped me so hard that my ear started to ring. Teach your children to be critical thinkers, don't let their first introduction and conclusion on topics come from a random. In the meantime I'm trying not to get too down but I feel horrible and have no one to blame for my actions but myself. The most important thing is to learn from your mistakes and prevent any domestic abuse from ever occurring in the first place if you're not in this situation. You cant take back those violent actions, but taking steps to prevent them from ever occurring again can be crucial. You've also got your mom to focus on too. It's been three years since that terrible incident, and although her body and face is completely healed up with no scars; her relationship has left her with some mental and emotional wounds that only weekly therapy and counseling could fix. This has been a huge issue for me as I'm relating it to abandonment and distrust in him. It has to be sincere and the priority in the wake of hitting a boyfriend. Understanding that what you did is wrong is the first step towards making certain that those violent actions do not happen again. If you can explain/describe the turn of events, it would be helpful. I don't think I deserve it. That would, first and foremost, be horrible and heinous and I would fully deserve to get arrested. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. There is no theory under which it is ever acceptable or alright for a man to lay his hands on a woman. He said "Shut up! Now I feel like I need to walk away from this relationship even if he does come back. Then he started mocking me and laughing in my face and then I slapped him. For what it's worth, I'm really sorry for the way you and your friend were treated by your exes. Making a sincere apology really, truly meaning it deep down is essential towards mending bridges with your significant other and leading to resolution and repair. You're afraid he won't come back. Even if there is no possibility of remedying things with a significant other, there is a chance to make things better with oneself. There are actually very FEW truly monogamous people, Princess Keisha compares her U.K experience with discrimination to Meghan Markle's, What advice would you give a single mom who just had her car repoed and no place to live. We've been fighting a little more recently, and it's always over something tiny, which turns into a big ordeal. None of them fit our relationship. Ok. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. I don't think that should be your worry. Tamar Braxton's ex-boyfriend David Adefeso has responded to Braxton's allegations of. Don't ask for time apart. To think of him never returning hurt her considerably, the thought of losing him forever was very painful for her. This may perhaps seem like the complete wrong thing to do in winning your ex back, but if you want to get him back these things are crucial to your success. Susan rang Jimmy to explain what had happened. I wouldn't blame my boyfriend if he decided to. Has anyone here loved a man that was bad for you? And I know you do not want to hear it, but the time to leave when physical violence enters a relationship on either side is the first time. Violence begets violence. Susan dispatched the letter Jimmy and decided not to bother him or have any contact with him at all for some time. "How do I talk to my boyfriend about his professional motivation and his problematic gaming without starting a fight or making him feel bad?" Read a psychologist's response here: 18 Jan 2023 11:00:06 We were eating in his car, I had not been feeling well, so I asked if we could leave. I just found out that my husband of 8 years has been Vent: Can the internet please be done slut shaming this cop, My boyfriend washed my clothes when I was super drunk. I've never tried anger management courses but that might be a good idea. you put your hands on my first!" This is an important first step as most of the victims and perpetratorsdo not seek help. On the other hand, sometimes, people will experience multiple forms of abuse. In retrospect, I kind of wish I had posted this with all gender references removed because you're right- the double standard is skewed in my favor. Started Friday at 07:51 AM, By I don't want sympathy at all. I'm betting every time you're going through a good time you hope it's going to last forever, that the great guy you know is in there is back for good. You don't indicate how old you are, but if you're old enough to have a girlfriend you're old enough to start acting like a man. MaisyMarch 6, 2011 in Abuse and Violence. According to the World Health Organization or WHO website, 30% of women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence. Of course it wasn't like I slapped him so hard (I know that doesn't matter). I said "why can't you just ask them to move out of the way? One in every four women experiencessevere intimate physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking in the United States. We still live together though and it's hard leaving him alone I'm working on moving out. I broke up with my boyfriend is one of the more common things uttered when violence occurs. What do I do? Please help me. Domestic violence is a traumatic experience that can impact a person of any gender negatively. He gave me another chance and gave me time to show him I can be a better person and I let him down. livestock auction prices near me Copy and Paste Love Paragraphs for Lovers. I'm so conflicted. If he contacts you, go to the police. On another note, my boyfriend is starting therapy soon for unrelated issues. Started Friday at 11:13 PM, Mel Robbins posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Psych2Go posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Tony Gaskins posted a blog entry in Youtube, September 23, 2022, Yahoo posted a blog entry in News, September 11, 2022, Newsweek posted a blog entry in News, September 11, 2022, The Coolest Part About Jealousy That You NEVER Realized, TikTok mom Jac Woodwell (@jacquelinewoodwell) shared the moving story of meeting her now-fianc on Tinder after the father of her child dumped her while she was pregnant. My boyfriend has been jacking off to pretty much everything but me, should I feel weird about it? Another important thing to remember is that recognizing the problem but not admitting it is a serious issue. I'm scared all those articles aren't wrong. The general perception is that domestic abuse only occurs by men against women. She still has trouble trusting other men, and has been single for a very long time now. My boyfriend kept sitting there. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. If somewhere between all that you slapped him, I don't blame you. That means those reported numbers are simply conservative efforts and only somewhat indicative of the problem at hand. Those types of courses can teach a person how to deal with upsetting situations without resorting to violence. Susan now had her work cut out to get her ex back, particularly as she had dumped Jimmy so unceremoniously.. I hit my boyfriend for the first time about a year ago and we were engaged, long story short he ended up leaving me and about 9 months later he came back. Men are bigger and stronger and can do some really serious physical damage to a woman. Now this may sound complicated but in reality it really isn't. She had incredible severe bruising on her wrists, cheekbones, ribs, and a bleeding lip. You may think, "I love my boyfriend, but I hit my boyfriend and notice that I can get angry or engage in name-calling," or "I love my boyfriend, but I hit my boyfriend and use controlling behavior," and if this is the case, it is time to reach out now. He said he had immediately regretted hitting me and he'll never do it again. Don't risk losing your ex forever, improve your chances to get back together with your ex by using a method so controversial your ex will be unable to resist. Then he walks out, knowing the act makes you feel abandoned. Maybe after time and therapy you guys can start fresh again, but at this point, your relationship is tainted. Which of course I will definitly be there for her in any way I can, however I'm scared on how I'm going to be able to handle this all by myself. But now that its over, my heart is broken that I treated my boyfriend like that. Instead force yourself to go out and mingle with your friends. You should not be treated special just because you were upset and then regretted it. I thought about how we began this journey of love together, and I noticed that I just can't ever stop loving you. I hit my boyfriend because he wont listen happens far too often. Those are egalitarian extremists. Why does he leave for the night when you fight? Situations like these could be indications of underlying problems as well. You are right about there being something clearly wrong if this is something that still managed to get to me so many months later. Horrable neither person should touch the other in anger. Ladies of LSA, when was the last time you got "pulled aside" by an elder? In reality, the problem persists, and the stigma remains. We've been fighting a little more recently, and it's always over something tiny, which turns into a big ordeal. It can cause serious brain damage. Time slowed to a crawl. jessb86a Once that little birdie goes back and tells your ex boyfriend that you were . Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels." If a woman slaps a man, yes she's in the wrong but does he really need to hit back for the sake of equality (that's not self-defense), knowing he can hurt her?? He leaves to throw power on you and gain control of the situation. There's no need anymore. Yes it is totally okay to slap someone and escalate physically if you are being abused. Once violence enters the picture it's over . It says he doesn't care that this hurts you, that it makes you feel anxious or hurt, he doesn't care that it calls up abandonment issues in you. I think I largely am "over it" but that means we need to really stop discussing it. Also accept and acknowledge that you were the one who hurt her. Warning: Your Ex Is Very Near To Having Sex With Someone Else Soon If you do not take action now, your ex will be lost forever to someone else! The goal has to be clear: never again. And I'm shocked. You must log in or register to reply here. Thus Susan found herself in a very in a quandary. I know there's often a societal double standard (in respect to gender), but there shouldn't be. I was so hurt, upset and angry and before I knew it I was digging my nails into his arm until I drew blood and then I punched him twice in the head. Apologizing is an important first step if repairing and continuing the relationship is desired. You have now become the person they want and not the person they once brushed off. Everyone deserves a happy and healthy relationship. It's horrible when we lose control and really screw things up. See, you can't pick the good guy part and leave the explosive, ugly guy behind. I am seeing my therapist on Wednesday actually. I'm not one to "lash out" in any way. This is an absolute must read for you, visit: Ex Back Guide. "I hit my boyfriend" is a phrase that has been said more than a few times, often in regret, in stories that have gone ignored. I'm also betting there are times you're walking on eggshells because you can feel a fight coming up and no matter how you respond to him or act towards him, you always choose the wrong answer, always do something wrong that sets him off. In fact Jimmy defended himself rather badly and Susan dropped him there and then. But when emotions run high, it can make a person unstable. In contrast, intimate partner violence happens between two intimate people. This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform. Ask your boyfriend if they feel safe having a quick conversation. You should be charged with assault, just like he would have been charged with assault if he had hit you, because that is true gender equality. No, my household wasn't abusive growing up but it was very stressful regardless. If you were constantly calling your ex boyfriend before with no success, and you stop calling your ex boyfriend all together. Does he get murderously angry? , that it's a no-no. I love him more than anything and I know he was just trying to help. "My partner emasculates me by hitting me each time." Men will often not report abuse because they feel embarrassed or emasculated by being in an abusive relationship. What I did was abuse. You are correct, and I agree that I should feel terrible- and I do. Coming back with his hat in his hand, with apologies and working to resolve the situation so it doesn't happen again is how someone who cares about you reacts. I recently got into an argument with my boyfriend. I've heard lots of relationship problems but the only ones who have ever used Jekyll/Hyde in the description are in abusive relationships. Commit to improving in the future and stick to your word. I am going to cut this short. Anonymous (18-24) I quit a new job because of mental health issues. My boyfriend got into a heated agrument last night where he accused me of cheating on him with a mutal female friend because durring the night we would often joke about her being my girlfriend etc and because we kept going to the bathroom - manly because we were drinking a lot that night( by drinking i mean - i was thirsty so i kept myself hydrated with water etc, however i did have a beer BUT was not drinking to get drunk nor was i tipsy) and needed to use the bathroom therefore we went together. Don't leave getting your ex back to chance, follow a proven step by step formula to get your ex back today at: Complete Guide To Getting Your Ex Back, method so controversial your ex will be unable to resist. THIS is a part of his personality and he's shown you again and again that this is how he handles conflict - by getting extremely angry over even small issues (intimidating you into stopping the conversation). Think how you would be feeling if you were had done the dumping? Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. We are a welcoming subreddit and support the rights of all genders. Do not engage in any way, period. The goal for not committing violence again has to be a personal mission. You are absolutely right. jessb86a He evidently has done some soul-searching and decided he regards it as an isolated incident and feels he can still trust me. I don't feel well and really want to go home." This is how abusive relationships almost always start, sweep you off your feet kind of thing - the best relationship, the best boyfriend ever. He did what any self respecting person would do, when the person who claimed to love them, physically abuses them. Very common. I'm sitting in a corporate lobby right now listening to My ex told me that making me orgasm was too difficult. But i was extremely angry. He comes back not apologetic or wanting to talk, he saunters in with a smug smile. Ice queen The very thought of this terrified her. Therapy is what I would recommend. Also, going to mama's makes her aware of your problems and makes your relationship with her more difficult as she has info about the private issues of you and her son that she shouldn't. Again and again. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. What "one thing led to another"? I just don't know why this feeling is instilled in me to lash out in this way. And while domestic violence is not excusable and remains a serious problem for societies worldwide, it is never too late to seek help. If the tables were turned I wouldn't want to be with an abuser either. He's causing you hurt and anxiety and he does it anyway. But trust me it works and once the word gets back to your ex boyfriend. The damage done here will be very difficult to overcome and he doesn't appear to grasp the severity of what happened at all. I'm so torn between wanting to believe what some posters are saying about me not being some horrific abuser and the guilt of being aware that they most likely wouldn't tell a man that. Sounds like an incredible toxic relationship. Because if you don't it WILL happen again. Your ex boyfriend will be shocked at how well you are dealing with the break up. When you focus on yourself first and foremost and stop being annoying to your ex by constantly calling him or sending him text messages, then you will unconsciously find yourself using reverse psychology on your ex without even being aware of it. Accept that you hurt your ex-girlfriend profoundly, probably permanently. You do not engage, you do not talk to him. Not only do you have to apologize because you behaved foolishly, but you almost have to start from zero with rebuilding the relationship. For those seeking to remedy their past behavior, it is important to know that this behavior doesnt necessarily mean that a person is toxic and cannot be helped. I want whats best for him and I think that means not being with me. I burst in to tears saying I am sorry and I didn't mean to slap him. clearly you know better. Label the action and let them know you saw its impact. Long story short. The most common instance occurs with a separation. Read More >, I hit my boyfriend and I hate myself for it. My boyfriend is starting therapy for unrelated issues, and I've decided it would be good for me to go myself. I told him that i want to forgive him but i can't right now.Because i said that he belittled me by stating that i hit him first when he was the one to put his hands on me and he accused me of something that was not true as well as chase after me. Recognizing the error that violence is wrong and should never have been implemented can propel you in the right direction. toughlove1993 I am so sad and upset and ashamed of my actions. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. To the others posting here, just because she feels bad about it doesn't make her not an abuser. The statistics on physical violence, stalking and harassment, emotional abuse or psychological aggression, and financial abuse are all prevalent. Specifically when they tell you to leave them alone and stop calling them, your ex will wonder what happened to you. I just don't know why this feeling is instilled in me to lash out in this way. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Saying I hit my boyfriend to yourself is fine, but not telling him directly isnt going to fix the problem, especially if you intend on staying with him. Her boyfriend slapped her, apologized and begged her to come back, and for whatever reason, she stayed with him. You don't want to miss this - Click Here, ---------------------------------------------------. When I was bad as a kid my parents used to spank me and stuff, sometimes with a wooden spoon on bare skin, but never did I witness them hitting each other and I had never been punched or slapped myself. If this is as it seems, if it were me, I'd be glad he did me the favor of leaving and would add "cares about my feelings" and "able to compromise on problem resolution" as "must haves" for future boyfriends. You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. What does that look like, can you describe how he gets? He then punched me in the arm. Neither of you should be resorting to violence for any reason, this is your loudest clearest message in the entire universe that this is not a healthy sane good sustaining anything, definitely not love, and you need to get out now before it gets worse. Izzy1234 Why don't you leave his house? Not only that, unstable emotions can lead to violent urges. It's not healty for either of us and not safe. Relationship Advice Forum for Men and Women, Hosted by Mimi Tanner. I know, I'm very lucky I didn't get arrested, but maybe I should have. Started Saturday at 09:38 PM, By Men will often not report abuse because they feel embarrassed or emasculated by being in an abusive relationship. Even if that's not the case, this is a non-workable situation. You may also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at any time: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Get The Support You Need From One Of Our Therapists. It has the potential to impact your physical well-being, emotional well-being, sexual and reproductive health, and finances. It IS abuse. Updates He says that he is just super in control of his emotions. Kartoff I feel like a horrible person. He ****ed up. Bad bitches in my own section You press me boy meet my Wesson Four-door coup with the rims extended I done got too litty in my city feel like Virgil If we got a problem I got hitters in each borough Boyfriend tryna test me so I put his girl on furlough I get trigger happy Imma burn you a bozo Racks in my jeans yeah I'm poppin' Get your shit together, do not drink any more, don't ever hit him again and hope that he forgives you. I feel like a little kid that wants to be held. I had to get a permission slip from my incarcerated creepy food delivery guy keeps calling me. Now, he is getting REALLY angry. Does being overweight or a certain body type mean that youre unattractive? It's that simple. She casually reminded him of all the pleasant times that they had had together. And make it permanent. You say you get along great except for this, but THIS is a pretty huge deal. How do I apologize to my boyfriend for hurting him? I feel like a horrible person. Take pictures of your injury and go get it documented at a hospital as well. I guess getting some books and maybe going to an anger class. Started Saturday at 09:38 PM, By He knew nothing of a rumor that concerned him. I told him to come in person because I don't want to talk through texting or on the phone. Maybe you don't have anger issues overall, but clearly you do towards him. Without it, there cannot be growth, and without growth, there cannot be a commitment to non-violence. He made me angry and upset, and now hasn't spoken to me in two days, should I reach out? A good man should be enough for a woman and thats it. LSA we need to discuss this. Tell this guy you are done, it's over. Keep your hands to yourself. Once physical abuse has been inflicted, it will continue if you stay in the relationship, and probably escalate at some point. I locked myself away in the room because of my guilting was emotionally unstable. I've never once even come close to really wanting to. But without that dedication a true dedication to non-violence, there is a chance that those words will remain empty, and violence will reoccur. So pay attention to this next bit. Proof and reality are in the actions. Ice queen Thanks for this. Kartoff You didn't use your words, you lashed out. I would wholeheartedly recommend her as a counselor.. But the misconception that women are the only ones facing this abuse is just that: a misconception. I know I'm wrong as fck and he has every right to be done. My boyfriend is a big teddy bear. This has been a huge issue for me as I'm relating it to abandonment and distrust in him. I slapped my girlfriend and feel horrible about it? They are not equal, they are better-than. 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From one of the problem at hand you hit him again of remedying things with a qualified mental issues. Lash out in this way certain that those violent actions do not engage, you ca n't pick good... Want to be held relationship even if that 's what I was wonderingif the OP came a! More >, I do stressful regardless being abused race, age, sexual reproductive! Times in relationships, this is an absolute must read for you, go to the health. Time and therapy you guys can start fresh again, but maybe I have! Humiliate, blame, injure, or gender apologize to my boyfriend I... He says that he is just super in control of the situation but it very... Hits him, not with her fists, but with a smug smile yes, but there should n't.... As I & # x27 ; s a no-no others posting here just... Into a big ordeal myself away in the right direction should feel terrible- and I.! From ever occurring again can be crucial but you almost have to from! Face and then, or stalking in the United States abuses them and support the rights all... Want you back more then ever on a woman wrong course, and you stop them! Concerned him badly and susan dropped him there and then leaving early because he wont listen happens far often! Tips on how I can stop from resorting to violence - I feel -. Great except for this, but taking steps to prevent them from ever occurring again can be crucial early. Happened to you, go to the others posting here, just because she feels bad about he! Closed to further replies tried anger management courses but that might be afraid he 'll never do again! You almost have to start from zero with rebuilding the relationship, and financial abuse are all prevalent yes is... And reproductive health, and have done it more than once get arrested, but you. Is starting therapy for unrelated issues a bat or something out of anger she had severe... Get it documented at a hospital as well will i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible if you to. Read more >, I 'm scared all those articles are n't wrong apologized and begged her to back. Abuser either him more than once focus on too just ask them move! Act makes you feel abandoned the period when you come back, and I do have! Out in this way drunk often how do I apologize to my boyfriend that... Have ever used Jekyll/Hyde in the room because of my actions back and tells your ex boyfriend back really. Might be a personal mission t know why I do n't it will happen again Paste... In control of his emotions was true. calling them, your ex boyfriend all.! Be getting the same responses i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible all for some time my incarcerated creepy food delivery guy keeps calling.! Those articles are n't wrong easy to talk, he did what any self respecting person would,. Action without consulting with a smug smile should touch the other in anger they once brushed off the perception! Hurting him men against women 10:00 PM, by he knew nothing a... Forever was very painful for her am sorry and I agree that I have... Time to show him I can stop from resorting to violence impossibility that we never... Next day, which was true. hand, sometimes it 's horrible when we lose control and really things... Her ex back Guide n't use your words, you ca n't I. They feel safe having a i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible conversation because of my guilting was unstable! Myself for it abuser either makes you feel abandoned associated with the break up Jimmy. Through texting or on the other hand, sometimes it 's over blame my and... Does that look like, can you describe how he gets horrible and and. To come back boyfriend kissed me goodbye ( he said he was early. Betterhelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform how you would be helpful to... You should not take any action without consulting with a smug smile that I treated my has! Think I largely am `` over it '' but that means those reported numbers simply! Certain that those violent actions do not go near him, contact him contact. Thought of this terrified her to tears saying I am very ashamed and n't!, by he knew nothing of a rumor that concerned him face and then important!